Messi of the Ramblas - and His Season in El Paral.lel

MESSI OF THE RAMBLAS is a hilarious, enthralling and heart-warming story about the kaleidoscope of people living in an old apartment building in the neighborhood called El Paral.lel in Barcelona.

MESSI OF THE RAMBLAS is a picaresque tale told by the Don Quixotic, Czech-born Barcelona citizen Vaclav Krakowiak, a chess-nerd who is stuck in Prague Airport at the time of the Icelandic ash cloud in 2010.

On his way to Milan from Barcelona for the first leg of the Champions League semi-finals, perfectionist Krakowiak is caught between his fear of mistakes and an impossible plan to kidnap football superstar Lionel Messi by replacing him with the Mexican lookalike, Messi of the Ramblas, and thereby heal an injured boy, Dinho, back in Barcelona.

While waiting for air traffic to recommence, Krakowiak tells his story to another stuck football-tourist, Pete the Liverpudlian, while trying to figure out how he has ended up in this hopeless mess – and how to get out of it again.

MESSI OF THE RAMBLAS is a humorous and moving tale of how a life ruled by perfectionism, isolation, and fear of failure, can unexpectedly change into an enlivening surrender to uncertainty, community and care.

First published in Danish in 2017, and subsequently in Swedish and Norwegian in 2019, the book has been hailed as "a masterpiece with potential to be cult".

“A funny and unpredictable tale about how piss-infuriating, life-giving and completely wonderful other people are. And about how fantastic and life-affirming it is that man is an animal that fails. Because otherwise life would be boring. To you who wish to be….  caught off guard.

★★★★ LIV magazine

"Sanne Bjerg's characters are lovable, colorful and as if taken out of a Spanish film by Almodóvar, and the reader senses a penchant for projecting chaotic and humorous scenarios.”

★★★★ Kristeligt Dagblad

The book tells the story of a series of mistakes that will make Mr. Krakowiak face his past, his present and his future. And take him on a hilarious journey that will include his neighbors, his clients and the regulars of Mr. and Mrs. Sardi's football bar. But most importantly there is Leonid Maria Brown, or Leo, or Messi of the Ramblas, as he will be known during that fateful season 2009/10; the playful, persuasive and charming young football player from Mexico. A newcomer with a firm belief in his own ability to do what he has to do - and an important reason to do so. Leo is all joy and helpful kindness, he wakes up the neighborhood, opens the windows and changes the ways of life for everybody before embarking – with or without his clueless agent – on a caper known as The Great Undertaking, the impossible plan to kidnap the world’s greatest football player, Lionel Messi.

“Realism with a twist, also called magical realism. …. You are on the hook and just have to read the next and the next and the next!”  Kristen Bjørnkjær, Information

“In this warm and colourful adventure, Bjerg manages to capture both the heights of sports fervor in Barcelona, and tenderly shape the quiet lives of lost souls in the backstreets of the city. “ DLM

“…the language is picturesque, poetic and peppered with Spanish idioms, and in addition there are a large number of side stories and descriptions of people's mistakes or wrong decisions. It all ends in a particularly beautiful redemption. Along the way, there will be room for both laughter and tears…”  Litteratursiden

“What a comeback! 30 years after her first novel, Sanne Bjerg has written a masterpiece about the patterns of life - with chess games and the football club FC Barcelona as the focal point…..It has been 30 years since Sanne Bjerg wrote her first novel. In the intervening period she has written a number of plays and opera librettos, but what a return! The book of mistakes is a masterpiece that could become a cult, and it is not particularly aimed at football geeks. The wingspan is larger. As if she has used her stage experiences with the freedom a novel gives.” Information

“ The novel is well written and – with its extensive notes on FC Barcelona's 2009-2010 season and its many football discussions and lingo – must be a gift to any literary Barça fan.”

★★★★ Kristeligt Dagblad

“There are many layers to the story that will appeal to different groups of readers, and the main message of living life and taking destiny into one's own hands is something everyone can relate to. A particularly well-rounded and enriching reading experience, which can be warmly recommended.” Litteratursiden

“The narrator is claustrophobic, paranoid, hyper-active -which makes for plenty of comic potential.….the whole set-up of the situation at the airport and the establishment of the eccentric, determined voice are both excellent…. complicated in an interesting way. …..There’s an exuberance in the storytelling. ….It’s whacky, mad, crazy, but funny.” TLC

"Whimsical, refreshing and very different book written with a great love for Barcelona and football. The combination of the neat chess player's passion for mistakes, as well as the silly and funny mistakes he himself and others make, grips the reader. The language is glowing and the passion for the game, the city and the mistakes of people characterizes the entire novel.” Danish Libraries

“Fejltagelsernes Bog” [The Book of Mistakes]

I returned to the novel 30 years later with “Fejltagelsernes Bog” [The Book of Mistakes] published by L&R in 2017,  then in Swedish and Norwegian in 2019 (and hopefully soon to be published in English as “Messi of the Ramblas”. )

THE BOOK OF MISTAKES is a book about the globalised cult of the local football team in Barcelona that both unites and divides. It takes place in a neighborhood and a building behind Barcelona’s Avinguda del Paral·lel in Spain from the spring of 2009, and in the Prague Airport in Ruzyne in the Czech Republic during the eruption of the Icelandic volcano Eyafjallajokull 12 months later.

THE BOOK OF MISTAKES is about Vaclav Krakowiak, a man who has come to see himself as a solitary pawn in an already lost and forgotten game of chess, solely hanging on to his life by avoiding mistakes at all costs.

It tells the story of a series of mistakes that will make Mr. Krakowiak face his past, his present and his future. And take him on a hilarious journey that will include his neighbors, his clients and the regulars of Mr. and Mrs. Sardi's football bar on the ground floor. Among them are Cassandra, Krakowiak’s easily distracted secretary and young Dinho’s mother, and Duncan, her shipbuilder boyfriend. But also Kropotkin, aka The Ancient Anarchist; G.O., a young British skateboarder who looks like George Orwell; Tristan, the mostly invisible son of Mrs. Gonzalvex; The Little Mermaid, a loud Scandinavian woman who roams the Barcelona beaches; Lili the Acupuncturist; Ahmed the barber; Mr. Bhatti and Mr. Singh, respectively the proprietor of a souvenir-shop and a travel agent, and many, many more.

But most importantly there is Leonid Maria Brown, or Leo, or Messi of the Ramblas, as he will be known during that fateful summer of 2009; the playful, persuasive and charming young football player from Mexico. A newcomer with a firm belief in his ability to do what he has to do and an important reason to do so. Leo is all joy and helpful kindness, he wakes up the neighborhood, opens the windows and changes the ways of life for everybody before embarking – with or without his clueless agent – on a caper known as The Great Undertaking, the impossible plan to kidnap the world’s greatest football player.

THE BOOK OF MISTAKES is a novel about family, faith, forgiveness and football. It is a story about avoiding mistakes or playing ball.

Reviews

"Sanne Bjerg's characters are lovable, colorful and as if taken out of a Spanish film by Almodóvar, and the reader senses a penchant for projecting chaotic and humorous scenarios. The novel is well written and – with its extensive notes on FC Barcelona's 2009-2010 season and its many football discussions and lingo – must be a gift to any literary Barça fan.” ★★★★ Kristeligt Dagblad

“A funny and unpredictable tale about how piss-infuriating, life-giving and completely wonderful other people are. And about how fantastic and life-affirming it is that man is an animal that fails. Because otherwise life would be boring. To you who wish to be….  caught off guard. ★★★★ LIV magazine

To my great delight, the librarian's opinion recommends "wide acquisition" and assesses the book as follows: "Whimsical, refreshing and very different book written with a great love for Barcelona and football. The combination of the neat chess player's passion for mistakes, as well as the silly and funny mistakes he himself and others make, grips the reader. The language is glowing and the passion for the game, the city and the mistakes of people characterizes the entire novel.”

“What a comeback! 30 years after her first novel, Sanne Bjerg has written a masterpiece about the patterns of life - with chess games and the football club FC Barcelona as the focal point…..It has been 30 years since Sanne Bjerg wrote her first novel. In the intervening period she has written a number of plays and opera librettos, but what a return! The book of mistakes is a masterpiece that could become a cult, and it is not particularly aimed at football geeks. The wingspan is larger. As if she has used her stage experiences with the freedom a novel gives. The character gallery could be something from the Olsengang films, but coupled with an absurdism like Beckett or Line Knutzon. Realism with a twist, also called magical realism. The book is absolutely like no other novel in Danish. Sanne Bjerg has really thought 'out of the box', which is what is called for in all sorts of creative professions, because it is in short supply. Rich in whimsy, which helps to keep the steam up all the way. You are on the hook and just have to bring the next and the next and the next!”  Kristen Bjørnkjær, Information

“Sanne Bjerg's novel is one of those stories where you really have to take your time reading it. The plot itself is convoluted and wide-ranging, the language is picturesque, poetic and peppered with Spanish idioms, and in addition there are a large number of side stories and descriptions of people's mistakes or wrong decisions. It all ends in a particularly beautiful redemption. Along the way, there will be room for both laughter and tears, and although a certain knowledge of football will probably facilitate understanding, you can easily follow along. There are many layers to the story that will appeal to different groups of readers, and the main message of living life and taking destiny into one's own hands is something everyone can relate to. A particularly well-rounded and enriching reading experience, which can be warmly recommended.” Arne Larsen, Litteratursiden

“Papayapassionen” [The Passion of the Papaya]

My career started in 1987 with the novel ”Papayapassionen” [The Passion of the Papaya] (1987)

The book was inspired by this short paragraph that could be read on the front page of Danish newspaper Politiken on November 4. 1984 :

”Chained to a tree for 17 years. The police in Venezuela liberated a 21 year old man Friday, who had been chained to a tree for 17 years of his life. According to sources in the capital of Venezuela, Caracas, the young mal-nourished man was immediately sent to a hospital to recuperate. As a 4 year old he was put in the care of his grandmother who felt she wasn’t able to handle him.

Reviews

“Impressive danish first novel. …a terrifically good story, done with convincing skill….” Poul Borum, Ekstra Bladet 25/11 1987

“There is something differently courageous and wonderfully ambitious about the first novel of 22 year old Sanne Bjerg.” Carsten Jensen, Det Fri Aktuelt 3/12 1987

“The book is exceedingly well-written, and people as well as nature are as vivid as if we were circling around this papaya-tree ourselves.”Annelise Vestergaard, Jyllandsposten, november 1987